^,^

I have the biggest smile on my face :D Spent a very lovely two hours with this guy that I like it was nice just to be the two of us <3 

It finally feels like Christmas and things seem to be on the up with my parents. My day's been rather productive too look:

 managed to sort out my make up. Need to make the mother a cup of tea and then crack on with my room :D
Life is looking rather good Xxx

For My Redhead Family

Hey umm I've heard some pretty bad news today. That my best friend's mother who hasn't been very well had to be rushed into hospital with suspected meningitis. Emily's been like a second mother to me, she's always been there for me in times where my mother couldn't. She's been so amazing and she's helped me the deal with my parents divorce. I respect her and love her with all my little heart. She really is wonderful. So I just wanted to say that I hope she gets better and that I'm thinking of her.

Another wonderful person is her daughter Heather. Emily's condition has proved difficult at times and Heather is one of the most fantastic people I know and I really don't say it enough. She's been brave and supportive and it's amazing how she's managed to balance her GCSEs and worries with those of her mother and her (way too) emotional best friend. This is just a little something to say my thoughts are with them, they are two beautiful people and ARE family to me. I love you both guys and I hope the end of the storm comes soon. Everything will be okay, I'll make sure of it xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I love you Xx

Love

Love is a difficult and twisted thing. I don't want a relationship like my parents. Years of ignoring and secretly hating each other. Evil. I know that love can be difficult and to those who find it I congratulate you. I've grown up knowing nothing but insults and hatred, I grew up seeing love like it was in the movies; hoping that's what love was really like. Now i'm fifteen and my parents have finally admitted they don't love each other anymore; well my mother doesn't love my father. They were disfunctional but they slotted together. They were perfect for each other; a while ago. 

Today I have discovered my mother's been having an affair since August(roughly) and that the guy she was with has moved to spain and they're still in touch. I think this may have been the reason she decided to leave my father. I feel like I've been stabbed or slapped across the face. To think of my mother with someone else it sickens me. I know in the long run she'd find someone else but to know that everyday for the last four months she's been with him; happy and then she's come home and she's angry and upset with us all. If she loved him that much I'd have rather she went to spain with him. 

I don't care about her excuses. She's my mother I feel betrayed that she didn't tell me and I had to read her diary to find it out. Urgh.

updating :D

my internet is back :D
god i've missed refreshing devaintART over and over :D & I've picked my prom dress!!! I can't tell you wat it looks like because it's a secret but ahhmygawd it's beautiful!!!

& HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS ahh it was amazing!! so excited for the last one, going to cry so much + i may be seeing it again with someone sepcial (a)


Mocks this week though :( 
Ahh well just gives me a reason to celebrate afterward + christmas soon ahh :D Xxx

Broken Keyboard

So as you've probably guessed my laptop keyboard is messed up haha two keys are missing, my 'e' key is extremely sensitive for some reason but anyway tomorrow I chose my prom dress & I'm really unsure about which one, I narrowed it down to two an aquamarine one, which is gorgeous, and a bottle green which is stunning but I'm unsure because of the colour, I never imagined myself wearing green to prom hmm. 
Doing my maths GCSE has lifted a huge weight because to be honest maths is what I was most worried about and I'm pretty confident I've got at least a C but I don't want to jinks it haha

Anyways I hadn't posted anything for a while so a quick update 

IT IS FOUR DAYS UNTIL HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS PART 1
AHH!!!!!D: :D 

It's one o'clock in the morning and I'm doing my english coursework which is in tomorrow and it's things like this that me glad that my mother doesn't see this :) anyways so yeah i'm watching lee mack on Dave and editing a new ID for deviantART so it's all good :)

Xxx

2am

Hello Campers :D I'm gonna be more cheery from now on :) So here I am at 2am the night before my maths exam wondering, worrying and general complaining about my life haha but there's always someone worse of so I'm not complaining. Not updated a Facebook status in 2 DAYS :D  I'm so proud of myself. It's like an achievement for me but my twitter status rate has doubled to make up for the loss of fb ones. It's like a recovering crack addict settling their cravings with heroinne. Not gonna work. 

Oh & I now have my Harry Potter 7 Pt.1 cinema ticket displayed proudly on my corkboard after a crazy two hour hunt for it :( I was in full panic mode and cryed a little when I thought I couldn't find it :/
But it's found and safe & also a guy I kinda like asked me to go see Harry Potter with him aswell so I'm on a high...well highish ya know i gotta exam in like 8 hours oh and that guy listed me as his "sister" on facebook he's really not getting it ^^ haha Goodnight/morning :D xx

Pride of Britain & Falling out of love at last

The pride of britain is so moving and it's incredible to see bravery and courage in Britain instead of being branded obese piss heads :) Beautiful people doing wonderful things :D

                                                  &                                                               

Today I've learnt that the boy I've liked for almost four years is going to sixth form instead of a college, this kinda put things into perspective for me, myself and Danielle are the only ones going to the local college and I know this won't stop me being friends with people but I think I may begin to drift away from people. But I think he will be the one I'll loose touch with first, we're close, we get on well but the fact I won't see him often will help me accept nothing was going to happen & besides I'll probably have my eye on another guy as soon as I step into the class room :)
But what I'm trying to say is, I've lost some feelings for him, knowing that this is our last year together and nothing's going to happen anyway :)

I'm gonna miss him and it's gonna be hard to fully let him go and not feel regret but I'll try haha :D